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Seeing this article on how Crazy Rich Asians empowers women by inviting "female gaze" reminds me of one of the more interesting issues plaguing modern U.S. culture these days:the curious case of male sexuality and how we address it culturally.
The short answer is we have no clue, because the supposed answer is that the entire universe of popular culture is centered on male sexuality -- specifically on desire for women and defining women as objects of desire -- and if one is sufficiently aware one is supposed to view this as a Bad Thing. But there isn't much to provide positive role models -- or even a well articulated theory -- of how men should address their sexuality. How should they feel about aggression and desire? Is it different for heterosexual men v. homosexual men or bisexual men? What is the balance between expressing need and being coercive?
Granted I'm the last person who would know if these discussions are actually taking place. But I never found anything useful either when I was growing up back in the stone age or when my son was growing up. Discussion of male sexuality tends to break down into the following buckets:
1. Pop culture grossitude (men should be eternally eager for sex and scared of any sort of emotional connection, they should be as ignorant as possible of their own feelings -- ideally they shouldn't have any and should struggle with the very concept of feelings).
2. A list of negative instructions about all the ways men shouldn't interact with women.
3. Birth control and STDs.
So pretty much its about not doing all the stuff you're not supposed to do and otherwise try not to think too much. Perhaps I have missed something.
The short answer is we have no clue, because the supposed answer is that the entire universe of popular culture is centered on male sexuality -- specifically on desire for women and defining women as objects of desire -- and if one is sufficiently aware one is supposed to view this as a Bad Thing. But there isn't much to provide positive role models -- or even a well articulated theory -- of how men should address their sexuality. How should they feel about aggression and desire? Is it different for heterosexual men v. homosexual men or bisexual men? What is the balance between expressing need and being coercive?
Granted I'm the last person who would know if these discussions are actually taking place. But I never found anything useful either when I was growing up back in the stone age or when my son was growing up. Discussion of male sexuality tends to break down into the following buckets:
1. Pop culture grossitude (men should be eternally eager for sex and scared of any sort of emotional connection, they should be as ignorant as possible of their own feelings -- ideally they shouldn't have any and should struggle with the very concept of feelings).
2. A list of negative instructions about all the ways men shouldn't interact with women.
3. Birth control and STDs.
So pretty much its about not doing all the stuff you're not supposed to do and otherwise try not to think too much. Perhaps I have missed something.
