Why Did McCain Vote to Proceed to Debate, Then Crash The ACA Replacement

[osewalrus]

I have two theories. One, that it was set up by Collins and Murkowski. The other that McCain set up the whole thing himself as revenge on Trump and the other right wing pundits and conservatives who have given him such a hard time for the last few years. I have written some scripts out imagining how this might have played out.

Theory #1, This was orchestrated by Collins and Murkowski:

 

Scene: McCain is in his hospital bed wearing a t-shirt saying "Miracle McCain." With him are Susan Collins and Lisa Murkowski.

 

McCain: You want me to come back to DC for this vote? And you want me to vote to proceed to debate, and then sucker punch everyone by voting against the final proposal -- whatever the Hell it is? 

 

Collins: it's for a very worthy cause. 

 

McCain: But why can't I just stay here? Then you won't even go to debate. Or why not just show up and vote no on the Motion to Proceed?

 

Murkowski: Because if you don't show up, McConnell will just keep holding it over and we'll never be able to get on with the budget or raising the debt ceiling! We need to get everyone on record has not having 50 votes for anything so that Trump can't keep forcing McConnell to hold this open. 

 

McCain: And for that you expect me to fly to Washington with brain cancer? That's not a worthy cause!

 

Collins: But this is the last chance to save the Senate as an institution! If Trump's and McConnell's plan doesn't crash and burn, we'll never get anything through regular order.

 

McCain: So what? That's not a worthy cause.

 

Murkowski: Because if you come back to Washington, Trump will think he's won and that he totally owns you. He'll tweet about it and brag about it to all his friends. Then, when you blow it up at the last minute, he'll be a giant colossal failure just in time for the Sunday talk shows and the August recess.

 

McCain: So if I spin this out, run out the entire week, make Trump think he totally won, then take it away from him, Trump, McConnell and the other right-wing asswipes who have made my life miserable suffer?"

Murkowski: "Humiliations galore!"

McCain: "Now THAT is a worthy cause!."

Theory #2: McCain planned it all by himself for maximum revenge.

 

Scene: Trump is screaming into his cell phone at 1:30 a.m. from his bedroom in the White House. He has a giant orange tribble on his head and a funky bathrobe that says "You're not with Stupid, I'm with Stupid!"

 

Trump: McCain? You Loser! You didn't get me, you hear? I'm still President! You're a total loser with cancer who is going to die. And I'll be alive while you are dead! Sad.

 

[Shift scene to McCain lounging on the bridge of a Starship in a command chair made of fine, rich Corinthian leather. For some unknown reason, McCain's chest is showing and Herve Vellichaize is standing next to him in a white suit.]

McCain: Oh I've done better than kill you, Mr. President. I've hurt you. I will be acclaimed as a national hero in the mainstream media, lionized on all the Sunday talk shows. While your repeal is buried alive . . . buried alive . . ."

Trump [his face contorted] "MCCAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNN!!!!!"

[Pull back to view of front of White House]

MCCCAAAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN!!!!!